First letter of Isaiah to the alumni association

People of Alumni Affairs! I wax wroth at thy solicitations.

I have sought to cast off these cries to me in the wilderness, from you and, especially unfortunately, commercial third parties who contact me on your behalf. To whom you give my private word, my email, with no clear consent, privacy practices notification, redress.

There is nothing that does more to alienate me from alumni affairs, to shade in me the University most high. It brings me to the point of removing all my info from you and the Directory, that Registry I was once so hopeful to join, coming from the Wilderness, Oregon. That once open book, now the taste of ash.

Or I should say, considering, attempting, to remove all my contact info, because I have so little expectation it’d work, with this or any other Beelzebub corporation of today, that I don’t bother trying. It tends to just confirm, and continue that golden informational shackle, that Calf, that re-subscription, whereby we hasten our own subjugation.

It alienates me from even, Lord forbid, donating, should and when my Ship come in and one of my works attain unto Equity Event. Because these incursions into my mailbox are, as for many, by far the steadiest touch-point, might I say unpleasant reminder, I have any more with your golden years of yore.

So why do I write, you may ask? Not for you, so much, an anonymous email account upon which my cries likely fall upon as to the barrenest desert ground.

Rather, to seed, to grow, to possibly sow upon the richer soils of social media — foment in the wilderness outside your walls, where I am now cast.

For you reprobate and heathen, recent starry-eyed grads probably staffing the email account and the alumni office’s lowlier toils, in case you’re missing my points and barbs here, let me drop it to you Old School:

Mark 4:3–9 (KJV)

Behold, a sower went forth to sow; And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up: Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them: But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.

Untargetted email, with no trustworthy opt-out — wasted seed, oh generation of swine and spam! or worse, poison and rot fomented in dark places, that shall back upon thee smite, herewith, Those who have ears to hear — can you hear me now? That was my man Mark 4:3–9. Ok, then let’s take it even older school, you know, Old Testament, from my first drop, the Book of Isaiah. Jesus via Mark was the remake, hear me now?:

Behold, a king shall reign in righteousness, and princes shall rule in judgment.
And a man shall be as an hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land.
And the eyes of them that see shall not be dim, and the ears of them that hear shall hearken.
The heart also of the rash shall understand knowledge, and the tongue of the stammerers shall be ready to speak plainly.
The vile person shall be no more called liberal, nor the churl said to be bountiful.
For the vile person will speak villany, and his heart will work iniquity, to practise hypocrisy, and to utter error against the LORD, to make empty the soul of the hungry, and he will cause the drink of the thirsty to fail.
The instruments also of the churl are evil: he deviseth wicked devices to destroy the poor with lying words, even when the needy speaketh right.
But the liberal deviseth liberal things; and by liberal things shall he stand.

“Until the spirit be poured upon us from on high, and the wilderness be a fruitful field, and the fruitful field be counted for a forest.
Then judgment shall dwell in the wilderness, and righteousness remain in the fruitful field.
And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.
And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.

So please permanently remove from this and all future mailing lists. I shall give unto the University as to the Lord, in my time and place.

yours,
Isaiah.